Since I added some anal play into Lean on Me, I decided to write this article.
Since going in the back route is another of those fun, but please be careful types of play, I’m going to give y’all a few hints and precautions.
For those of you who haven’t tried it and are wondering: why in the world would anyone want to…?
Physically: because this is another area filled with nerves that are interconnected with all the rest of your hot buttons. And the more nerves that come into play, the better the orgasm, right?
Mentally: because this is such a vulnerable and private area, if a Dom takes you here, it increases your feelings of being helpless and exposed. Because you let him–and because he’s so very careful and gentle–it also increases the sense of intimacy between you. (If he’s not careful and gentle, well, you need to be rethinking your choice of men.)
Now anal play doesn’t have to be a man driving into you with his favorite equipment. For some people, that’s too much. If you’re properly prepared and it still hurts–or if you just don’t want this at all, then don’t do it. For less intense play, you can enjoy the erotic pleasure of a finger running around the rim or maybe using small soft toys (vibrators, plugs).
Studies have shown that women are very, very good at multi-tasking and, if you’re on the receiving end, everything is more fun if other areas are also being stimulated. A tongue on the clit and a finger slowly penetrating the nether region is a wonderful combination. Or…well, I’ll let you read the book to see Master Cullen’s favorite method.
Remember–and this goes for anything new you try–it all works better if you’re really hot and excited. Lots and lots of foreplay first. If he’s not willing to put in the time to drive you out of your mind beforehand, well… humph!
Work up slowly from a finger or tiny toy to bigger toys to a cock. Trim those fingernails — better yet, wear a glove. If you’re ready for his cock, then remember, there’s no hurry. Have him go in a little and stop. The anus has tight muscles; sometimes if you push outward (bearing down), it helps him enter. Allow time to adjust. He can go in a little more. Wait. Once those muscles start to relax, then he can start moving again. Slow.
The first few times, it’s better if you give lots and lots of feedback. If you want that order put into Dom-speak, your man should say something like this: “I expect you to tell me what you feel, pet. Green says continue, yellow means wait for a moment. Where are you right now, little sub, green or yellow?”
Now, some safety and general precautions:
Unlike the vagina, the anus has no natural lubricants–that means get out the tube of lube out and use it. Use more than you think you should, then use more still. Reapply often because it’ll somehow just disappear.
Yes, it can sometimes be messy. Use the bathroom before; some people prefer to use an enema earlier that day. Alas, germs are a fact of life, so using a condom on cock and toys and/or gloves on hands can help keep things cleaner. And never, ever have fingers, toys or cock go from the anal area back to the vagina.
Lube well (did I mention lube?).
Unless you want a real intimate experience with the emergency room staff, make sure your toys are smooth and rounded at the front end and flared at the back. LOL!
And do wash up thoroughly afterwards.
What about him?
And all those nerves are also present in men, so your DH may well enjoy a little fingering or toys on his own part. Uh, I would recommend moving slowly if you have a conservative Dom. His reaction to your fingers in unexpected areas might well earn you a butt-up, over-the-knee hard spanking.
Hmm. That sounds like fun…
Okay, y’all, here’s the disclaimer that the big guys say must be here: The articles here are presented for general information only and are not meant as “how-to” guides. Use the information at your own risk. Bear in mind that nothing in this world is safe, especially when it comes to sex ;-). Please don’t try any new sexual practice, especially BDSM, without the guidance of an experienced practitioner. Neither Cherise Sinclair nor contributors will be responsible for any loss, harm, accidents, injuries, or death resulting from use of the information or actions inspired by this website. Whew.